Nigella's Christmas Cracker!



By T-N Celebs Reporter Luna Stargazer
Nigellas Christmas Cracker
Nigella relaxing yesterday

Nigella Lawson has caused a Christmas Stir by advocating the slaughter, skinning, wearing the fur (and presumably cooking the inner bits) of all creatures great and small.

Nigella is going commando in an effort to extend her 'road kill' philosophy to anything living, providing it drapes around her neck nicely that is!

This is Nigella's Christmas recipe for having some good tucker and staying warm....

This recipe requires the following:

Nigellas Christmas Cracker
Nigella looking for plump puppies yesterday

Go into a wilderness where your furry friend usually hangs about checkiong out the chicks. Take the spade and dig a hole large and deap enough to accomodate said beast.

Hide behind a bush for a while until mr. stupid animal lolls along and falls into the cleverly disguised pit. Unsheath your rifle and slam in suffiecient bullets to render said animal not of the living.

Take your sharp knife and open the warm animal up from the neck to the nethers, discard the inners or set aside for broth. Remove the fur and hang in the curing shed to dry.

Cut the meat into small pieces and place in the pot with the oil, alternately sling the carcass on an open fire and turn occasionally until done. Boil up your veg in the pot and simmer.

Serve dead animal with suitable garnish and a bottle of cheap plonk.

Remove pelt from curing shed, mark out and cut with the large scissors. Join the pieces using the needle and thread, make good, clean and don.

Taste is strong, vegetables sweet and seasoned, meat a little grizzly.




Last Updated::: 11-Jun-2006 18:26



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