Kitten Smitten

T-N,

After many years of a loveless relationship, violence, degradation, abuse, humiliation and fear, my husband decided he couldn't put up with any more and has left me.  Bastard!

Anyway I've replaced him with a kitten (Samantha) and for the first time in my life I have begun to have feelings of love and adoration.

My question is, when the inevitable happens and I lose interest in Samantha, are there any nice recipes out there for microwave cooking?  I can't find any on the internet.

Marjorie Boiler
 

Reply from Liz Hurley

Please don't microwave Samantha.  Contact the Cats Protection League, they will provide you with advice and even offer a new home.  However they do retain copies of illegal recipes they've confiscated on their website.  Type in the url followed by /FelineFood

Reply from Lilly Savage

What's the crack?  Please don't cook Samantha, she sounds bloody brilliant.  I'll swap her for a couple of Liver Birds kidder, you can microwave them flying toilets anytime - try serving them on a bed of scouse.

Reply from RSPCA

Should you take such drastic action against your cat, you can rest assured we'll be around there in two ticks to give our two penneth worth I can tell you.  And if we can't handle it we'll pay for some idiot MP to introduce some unworkable legislation that will never prevent this happening again.  Harumph thrice times!

Reply from Dick Cheney

You can't just microwave a cat like that.  Why hell woman there's not enough moisture in a cat to sustain proper cooking, no way siree.  No, first you got put her in a pot with some water, onions, pumpkin and a little seasoning.  Par boil the cat then finish it off in the oven within a nice crust pie, serve with vittels and grits.

Reply from Marjorie Boiler

Ta for the help and support everyone, I think I'll act on one of the suggestions.  Got to go now, here kitty kitty it's dinner time....