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Luv 'n' Shit |
T-N, My mother has just admitted she's been shagging my boyfriend for the last 3 months and given him genital wart to boot. Should I dump my boyfriend (Steve Maggot, Team Leader at McDonalds), or dump my mum who says she is 37 but is actually 52.
Tara Bittaruff |
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Reply from Cliff Richard |
| Dear Tara, What's shagging? |
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Reply from Samuel L Jackson |
| Tara, take my advice and waste that mother fu@$er, your mom that is - not your boyfriend, who actually is your mother fu@$er. Wait a minute, got all damn confused there. Take the bitch out, a shotgun should do. Then give that boyfriend a 'Bobbit'. Failing that seek counselling from a preacher, I hear that Canterbury guy is quite good. |
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Reply from Dame Judi Dench |
| Dear Ms Bittaruff, I wouldn't go as far as Mr. Jackson suggests. I would sit down with your mother and boyfriend and talk it through over a nice cup of tea. There is nothing that cannot be sorted out with reasonable debate and due consideration to all parties. Failing that I'd slash their throats and blame it on the gypsies. |
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Reply from David Essex |
| Oi Dench, leave us bloody gypsies alone, we get the blame for everything around here. |
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Reply from Tara Bittaruff |
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Thanks everyone but I was dissapointed no one suggested a threesome during the interval between Trisha and Richard & Judy. |
