Scouse Megalomaniac, will he won’t he….
By T-N's Domination Expert Hymer Crank

Scouser megalomaniac Nick Yerwheels was given the surprise opportunity of ruling planet Earth.

Nick (known to his associates as Fagan II The Overlord of Bootle), who started off running a crime ring from the comfort of his loo, won the chance on a GMTV phone in Quiz.  Nick had to state what colour car Inspector Morse drove:

A:   Cherie Blair’s Glamour Advisor
B:   Red
C:   Lake Superior
D:   Testicular Cancer

Git, Tony Booth forcing an
expletive yesterday

Nick was the first correct answer out of the bag, and the only correct answer from Merseyside.  The winner also had to be a proven baddie and a pathological egotist, confirmation of this was provided by Tony Blair’s father-in-law, the original Scouse Git, actor Tony Booth.

Questioned whether he would be taking on the world, Nick replied "well not today, I’ve got to sign on then put a night shift in thieving down the docks".